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HEALTHY BOUNDARIES: A CONDITION FOR HEALTHY GROWTH
One of the lessons derived from Joseph’s words, in Genesis 39:8-9, is the understanding of boundaries. He said these words after Potiphar’s wife appealed to him and he refused. “Behold, my master knows not what is with me in the house, and he has committed all that he has to my hand; there is none greater in this house than I; neither has he kept back anything from me but you, because you are his wife: how then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?” Joseph did not get a swollen head for having everything in his charge. Moreover, he recognised what was not under his charge. He knew his boundaries. Remember that Adam and Eve fell, in the midst of plenty, when they ate of the tree that God said not to eat from. How many people have made costly mistakes simply because they did not stay within their God-given boundaries? Further still, do you know that a lack of boundaries can be seen as the root of many sins? Those who had the privilege of being treated with the healthy “rod of correction” whilst growing up have some boundaries etched into their minds. I have noticed that mental boundaries are also helpful in many cases. There are some thoughts you should just not tolerate in your mind. The more I think about the natural, mental or spiritual, I realise that healthy growth needs certain healthy boundaries. Within these boundaries the growth is healthy; outside these, we have a wild growth. I remember growing up in my home country. You never conceived in your mind that God does not exist. It took coming into another country to see that some actually believe that God does not exist. The reality of God constituted a major healthy boundary in my thought processes. Actually everything created by God was designed to function within certain boundaries. I believe the fear of God is what puts healthy boundaries in our minds, as in the case of Joseph. The fathering spirit helps to establish Godly boundaries in the minds of those being fathered so they can grow healthily in their minds and walk with God. When Paul told Timothy to “commit to faithful ones who will be able”, he established that character preceded performance in the scheme of things in the kingdom of God. It sounds like God will put up with some mediocrity with one who is faithful until that person develops the needed ability as God provides. PRIDE HIDES BEHIND GIFTS
Another aspect of the process is ‘brokeness’. Brokenness is the state wherein we can be corrected and still bounce back with joy, and continue to serve without bitterness. This is an achievable state as we go through our process of receiving correction and moving on from one level of excellence to another. Many get stuck because of the subtle pride that hides behind our gifts from God. Gifted people can sometimes be the most difficult to disciple. Behind our gifts is the self-confident boasting that says ‘I can do it too’. ‘I have what it takes’. We all go through this. God gives gifts and we get proud as if it was by our efforts we got them. We claim we want to use the gifts for God but really it is to boost our poor self images. When we are corrected, the ‘monster’ behind the gifts shows up. God gives and chooses how He wants to use the gifts. He does want us to employ our gifts for His purposes but how will He deal with what has attached itself to what He gave? Process is the sifting of the old inhabitants from the new. The new creation battles with the carnal nature for expression in us. Process takes us through the fire of purification where the dross surfaces so it can be dealt with. Unfortunately when the dross surfaces, like anger, hatred and bitterness, instead of recognising and removing, we allow these things to remove us from the beauty of the cleansing process. We take the offence and leave the environment where correction can take place. How tragic. “Every plant, which my heavenly Father has not planted, shall be rooted out”. (Matt.15:13) Offences can root us out of the path to our destiny if we hold on to them, or, we can let God root them out of our hearts through repentance and forgiveness. Rather than become better, bitterness takes us away and our hearts become polluted, hence our destiny is no longer what He meant for it to be. How we need those who help interpret our experiences correctly so that Christ can be formed in us. PURITY OF MOTIVES AND FOCUS
God sees the heart while men look on our outward appearance. What God sees are our motives and focus. He actually judges us based on these. Part of the purpose of the process we go through in God is to allow us to see our motives, so we can allow the purifying power of repentance from dead works to have its effect. In Hebrews 12:1-2, we see three aspects of God’s will; first, that the race is already marked out for us. We do not get to define our race or the path we run on. Secondly, we are to look unto Jesus as our pattern and inspiration. Thirdly, He who started is also able to finish what He started in us. He is the author and finisher of our faith. As we look to Him we see that His motivation was to do the will of the Father-God. Hebrews 10:5-10 clearly shows that He was motivated by a desire to please the Father by doing His will. Again we see that the path He took was discovered in the Scriptures and the final deal involved the laying down or sacrifice of His body. Being the pattern Son, our focus should be on Him and our motive should be like His. He loved, obeyed and was sold out on pleasing the Father. In our world, selfish ambition, competitive jealousy and a desire to be like others have replaced Godly motives for the things we do for God. These things pollute the pure expression of God’s kingdom on the earth. The questions we should ask ourselves from time to time are “Am I doing the will of God?” and “What are my motives for what I am doing?” Many times we do start with the right motives, i.e. loving God and being willing to do His will. As time goes on, however, the effects of our experiences with people enter our hearts, coupled with our own unresolved issues of the heart, like rejections of the past. These compound in us and as a result our motives get polluted and eventually our service for the Lord is not producing as God intends. If care is not taken we end up having fights that are unnecessary and we get distracted from purpose, aborting the processes of God in our lives. I wonder how many lives are being wasted by these. They still seem like they are in the race but they are definitely running with a totally different agenda and dancing to a strange music. In James 4, the author asks the question why there are wars amongst us and within us. In verse 4, he says we are like unfaithful wives having illicit love affairs with the world and breaking our marriage vows to the Lord. The things in the world, as mentioned in 1 John 2:15-17, are the lust of the flesh, the eyes and the pride of life. Any fellowship with these will open us to another spirit and pollution of destiny becomes increasingly inevitable. Repentance and humility are needed to deal with these issues. James said we should be subject to God then resist the devil and he will flee from us. (James 4:7). Grace is given to the humble who take their position under God. That grace is given as a measure of the power of the Holy Spirit to deal with this evil tendency and all others fully. (James 4:6, Amp.) We obviously need a regular supply of this grace. When these things are dealt with within the context of healthy, loving relationships, like a fathering or friendly one, the correction and encouragement will lead to greater productivity and spiritual accuracy. Remember that corrections are not usually joyous. The fathering principle is what God uses to transmit His legacy from one generation to another. This includes the transmission of values, principles and the lifestyle that govern pure motivation and accurate operations in the spirit. My prayer is that this generation and generations to come will be helped by true fathers and healthy friendly relationships to navigate accurately to avoid the extremes and traps that have befallen and beguiled many into forfeiting their God-ordained destinies. Amen! The Lord Bless and keep you! God's Servant 
Rev. Kola Ewuosho
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